A Bit of Excitement

Last week I finished painting the dining room. With the holiday approaching there was no point starting work on the basement swimming pool and so, one morning, I didn't have much to do. I reached across the breakfast table for the paper but Janet worries when I start reading the Daily Mail before my heart pills have kicked in. "Why don't you start your blog" she suggested "You make it up anyway."

Your nearest and dearest really know how to hurt you. I protested that, whilst I may occasionally spin a story or perhaps use slight exaggeration to emphasise a point, I would never unintentionally lie to blog followers.

We all got a bit of a shock when a giant octopus attacked the ship this morning. Captain Me Again (it makes a change from Captain Calling) told us over the PA that it probably only wanted to play and so he had sent the ship's entertainments officer to deal with it.

The octopus ate the entertainments officer to the sound of a lot of unseemly cheering from the regular Balmoral passengers. The captain announced that it might be a "gude ide-yar" (he's Norwegian) if we abandoned ship for a few "how-ars". He said that he was confident that anything with so many arms could not survive for long on a cruise ship without bacteriological hand washing gel.

Safely back on board I was glad that I had been able to get this photograph from the lifeboat. Without it, who would ever believe me.

Dave